If his moderately sound appearance hides the dark truth of a psychological deficiency: This is for you. First and foremost, do what your sensitive heart tells you: Ignore him. Silence is an extraordinarily effective solution. This takes practice. The first attempts for perfect silence might even fail. Be prepared to repress some of those exciting life traumas, too. Save them for when you are older and socially inept. Don't feel bad if you start to hate him in secrecy either. I repeat, silence is of the essence. So when you hope for a placid evening at home after a long, hot day at school and find your needy self suddenly ambushed by a white male displaying a marvelous talent for speaking in tongues: Let him. If you don't follow my advice, he will kill you. Granted he is nice to your mother and friendly toward your friends, he will kill you. In simpler terms, he is the average middle aged man with undiagnosed mental disorders.
Once you have perfected the skill of silence, buy yourself a time machine on sale for traveling to the near, parentless future.
