In January, I embarked on what became a year-long commitment to the undesirable life of college essays and multiple choice questions. I say 'undesirable' to represent the population who view college as a gateway to nowhere. I want to remember the conversation I had with a friend recently, but the words exchanged have escaped my memory. Unfortunate, because I have the tendency to remember stupidity when I hear it. Something "western style of teaching" being "very western" and I don't know what else.
What I know is that many people would like to study in the United States. To trivialize the West for a 'very western' methodology is indicative of a poor level of culture. My response to fractured reasoning is silence. If I was a hippie slob, I would voice similar statements too; anything to resist mental employment.
From January to May, I learned that procrastination is another word to describe people with zero control over their lives. So, I procrastinated a healthy amount. I passed all of my classes except for Biology. On the day of the final, I parked behind the science building only to drive home minutes later; frustrated and defeated with my decision to fail the course before attempting to pass impassable exams.
In June, I left for my winter retreat in South America. What took place during the two-month stay would refine my perspective on matters of life and love. I am thankful for the opportunity to escape the dullness of the American life for moments in another reality.
Once I returned to the United States in late August, I lived like someone who had recovered from a near-fatal coma. I awoke with feelings of novelty every morning. These would persist through the day until night, when the excess of unregulated gains produced interior mutinies.
In October, reality conquered the sensation of plenitude. Slaughtered, murdered, robbed were any feelings containing joy. I sulked. I slept. Then, one day I put it all behind me, as if by resignation.
Next year, my expectations are to continue with college. As for love, its symptoms would be fantastic.
I think that I am coming to like my life, as sad and minuscule as it appears during the least favorable times.
