Dec 11, 2009

Yeah, I have developed an attraction for one of my teachers. The trite thing to say. "Crush" I saw him today by accident. Is it impossible to like someone my age? He's removed from convention. Unconcerned about clothes. Endlessly cultured. Polymath. He has the brain I wish all girls could inherit.
I don't care for Plato, but I'll use the term 'Platonic' because it's suiting. He was walking with one of his friends, or colleagues, as they like to be called. To my misfortune(and to the misfortune of all who risked the trouble of conversation) last minute studying had put me in a moribund state. He waved. I waved mechanically. He smiled. I smiled. When this happens, that is, when I'm at the mercy of immortals: speech is subdued. Thoughts, over-processed.
There is a scene in Tod Williams' The Door in the Floor(2004) where the character played by Kim Basinger- the pure and undiscovered essence of perfection, is approached by husband Jeff Bridges as she sits in her car with keys in the ignition. He knows she's leaving after a 20 year marriage, 2 deceased sons and a remaining young daughter whose birth was accidental. They look at each other for a long time. Neither say a word. She turns the key and drives off.
I don't imagine a reality in which this has the likelihood of occurrence.


Emotions dominate people.